Posted in Poetry

I Had Do-Do In My Pants!

Over You!

So I stripped stark naked

walked the neighborhood sans shoes

pounding a drum-de-drum.

I really had nothing else to lose!

But someone called the law

even though I was senile

and having a ball!

Now!

My trial date is coming soon.

And at that trial

I’m surely

Going To Moon!

Posted in Art, God, Family, Friends, Inspiration

The Good Life …

Is laced with good relationships ……

Is laced with spirituality ……

The good life also has it’s risks ……

To quote Henry David Thoreau, Essayist

Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.

I would rather sit on a pumpkin, and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion.

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. Let them be your only diet drink and botanical medicines.

Our truest life is when we are in our dreams awake.

If a man is alive, there is always danger that he may die, though the danger must be allowed to be less in proportion as he is dead-and-alive to begin with. A man sits as many risks as he runs.

Posted in Entertainment, humor

I Get No Respect!

Yes!

We all need a little humor to start the day!

Rodney Dangerfield Stand Up Jokes Are the Way to Go!

With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.

My wife is so fat that when she lays around the house, she really lays around the house!

My wife is so fat that when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water.

When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, “Look, twins!” 

I’m not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.

I tell you, I’m not a sexy guy. I was the centerfold for Playgirl magazine. The staples covered everything!

What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!

Last week I told my psychiatrist, “I keep thinking about suicide.” He told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back!

Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.

When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, “We want five thousand dollars or you’ll see your kid again!

source: http://jokes4us.com/peoplejokes/comedianjokes/rodneydangerfieldjokes.html