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Posted in Imagination, Poetry

If Only ………!

If only I had the faith of those emoticons.

If only my facial expressions could truly convey my feelings or intended tone.

If only I could flag my life with smiley faces; thumbs up; hearts; and even a middle finger where deserved to avoid misunderstanding!

Yes!

If only life really was like

an Emoji and Me!

Featured
Posted in Faith, Lifestyle, Poetry

All Peaches and Cream Tuesday!

Ahh!

Puppy dogs tails,

little kittens,

butterflies,

peaches and cream

topped with a cherry or two.

May your life

be filled with

sweetness,

happiness,

contentment gleam!

Beautiful

like the colors

of peaches and cream.

But what about

“Cakes and Ale?”

Some bloke did scream!

Well mate,

“It’s different in the US …… it seems!”

So

may your life

be like a stroll

on the Boardwalk

in Atlantic City

before all that crime!

One big bowl

of peaches and cream

topped with cherries

and fine wine!

Yes!

If only a fruit of

whatever kind

would taste as sweet

as peaches and cream

topped with

Yes …

Barbera Wine!

************

Now that’s Enough!!!

The Peanut Gallery did loudly shriek!

So I’ll leave it at that

post the usual smorgasbord

for the rest of the week!

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Posted in brunch, Health, Information

A Delicious 8-Course Spider Meal!?

Somebody said, “The average person swallows 8 spiders in their sleep each year!”

Ugh!

Ugh!

Yummy …

Gummy …

Doggy Do-Do!

“Who in the hell said that?” you ask!

A Noble-awarded Chinese entomologist,

So Me Bo Di

************

Luckilly for us, that is absolute pure bull shit or more appropriately spider shit

Read the attached article for the real facts.

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/fact-or-fiction-people-swallow-8-spiders-a-year-while-they-sleep1/

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Posted in Art, Dogs, Entertainment

The Phantom of the Organ!

Coming soon to a post near you!

The Phantom of the Organ!

Starring Oreo the Emotional Support Dog

Being recorded as I post.

The Phantom dog is a virgin Havanese female dog who wears a mask and is deformed. She lives in a Havana Cat House in the cellar, actually the third level underneath. She falls madly in love with a handsome yellow male Calico cat called Chris.

The Phantom dog is very dynamic, mesmerizong, sensual but I fear, ghostly!

Featured
Posted in Health, Information, Prose

Tales From the Shopping Cart Crypt!?

Helpful Tales From the Crypt?

No!

Tales From the Cart!

For those who suffer from Shopping Cart Syndrome (SCS)!

“Shopping cart syndrome” can be caused by overshopping and can lead to both mental and physical pain! It has recently been discovered that Cartimox can help such people along with GetaLife supplements. A doctor that works in a local hospital described a patient suffering from dizziness for two months that had to quit her job because it was so bad. So he prescribed this medicine and supplements and she was better in about six weeks. And my physical therapist told me that her patients with this disorder were given this medicine and it has helped them. 

Other Useful Ways to Alleviate SCS:

Don’t Shop Until You Drop! Especially if you’ve ever suffered from the Dropsies.

Don’t shop for shopping sake because you think you need something! No! Shop for God’s sake!

While shopping is cheaper and better for you mental well-being than a psychiatrist, either way you can still get emotionally screwed!

Remember, a bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.

Shopping is a woman thing.

Is that obscene or what!?

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. That will maybe convince you that you don’t want to know her!

***********

Just trying to spread useful facts. And occasionally quiet farts!

***********

Me thinks I hear angry, screaming feminists and psychiatrists pounding at my door!