Posted in Art, Imagination, Prose, Stories

Potty Art!

My wife asked,

When did you start your adventures in art?

Well, if that’s what it is, I started as a wee baby. My first medium being potty art. Unusual shapes and colors which pungent odors throw in here and there for special effect. And some of my diapers were pure masterpieces. But they had to be discarded for health reason.

I did some oil painting when 10 or so and the pretty much stopped until I did an oil painting in 1968 for some unknown reason.

I then entered a big artless void until recently, being in retirement and bored an such. Mainly just scribbles, dribbles, doodles and unplanned stuff proving I’m a bit off my noodle.

Since I’m rapidly approaching 80. I’m sure I will return to my first ‘baby medium.’

This time, old-age, senile Potty Art!

Yes! What goes around comes around!

But this time it’s not as round and occurs less frequently I fear!

Posted in Imagination, Stories

The Boy That Never (Really) Was!

Note: This is not a worldview, or political statement one way or the other! Just a short story from somebody’s personal Twilight Zone!

————

A woman photographer was at a photo shoot. A young boy was there staring intensely at her. She didn’t know why. So she approached him and asked, “Why are you looking at me like you do!”

He didn’t reply. She then asked if he was here with his parents?  Again no reply. So she finally asked, “Do you need a ride home?” No answer. He just ran off.

In the days that followed, she would see him wherever she went.  She even saw him from her window looking up at her from the street.  When she turned away and looked back, he had vanished!

The next time she saw him, she had to find out why he was always there?

His reply, “Why didn’t you want me?”

“What do you mean, I didn’t want you?”

His reply, “Wasn’t I good enough for you?”

Shocked, she finally realized what this was about!  She then said, “Sometimes we make choices that seem right but regret in the future. I’m sorry if you think that I didn’t want you!”

Well, they became very close. But one day as she was looking at him he just faded away, never to be seen again!

Luckily, she had some photos of him in her appartment. But even they -one day- just faded away.

All that now remained were some faint memories of

“The Boy That Never (Really) Was!”

Loosely from ‘A Twilight Zone!’

Posted in Imagination, Stories

Do Politicians Serve Man?

My favorite TV show of the 60s was the anthology series, “The Twilight Zone.”‘ My favorite Episode, “To Serve Man,” aired in March 1962.

In this episode, a 9-foot alien from the planet, Kanamits, lands and addresses the UN telepathically.  They are offering to aid humanity advance it’s technology: end hunger, energy shortages and nuclear proliferation.

The benevolent Kanamits want only to Help Mankind!

The alien Bigfoot then departs the UN leaving a book written in the Kanamits language without any comments telepathically.

A U.S. Government cryptographer, Michael Chambers, is assigned to decipher the book.

But, the benevolent spirit  of the Kanamits is so heart warming that soon there are Kanamits Embassies in every major city on Earth.

Things are going along so well that humans are eagerly volunteering to the travel to ‘Paradise’ on Kanamits.

The urgent need to understand the book’s meaning is put on the backburner.  So, even Mr Chambers himself volunteers to travel to Kanamits.

As Chambers climbs the stairs to enter the ship for his trip to Paradise, an aide, Patty, yells to him outside the gate:

“Mr Chambers,

don’t get on that ship!…

To Serve Man

It’s A Cookbook!!”

***********************************  Doesn’t this remind you of politicians.

Isn’t it eerily similar to the promises, speeches and writings of most of our politicians!?

Yes! On the Left, Right and Center ‘it’s all, really, just slight variations of the same!’

Posted in Stories, true life

My Sicilian Nonna’s Evil Eye!

It has oft been said that a picture is worth a thousand words.  Well, ‘submitted for your approval,’ is a lovely picture of my Sicilian grandmother, Catherine ‘Merlino’ Barbera.  

It is shown below. But first be warned though! View with extreme caution only after deep prayer!

But first, I submit Rod Serling’s famous introduction to his circa 1960’s “The Twilight Zone” TV show to first set the mood!

          There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears, and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call … The Twilight Zone!

I also submit some choice words about Nonna Catherine to add some old-world Sicilian spice and flavor!

Nonna Catherine was blind in her later years.  She also did not speak any English at all.  When I visited her as a little child she would just examine my face with her cold, rough hands and mumble in a Sicilian dialogue.  A scary experience for me at the time, indeed!

Being blind, she spent most of her time in her second story bedroom.  She was usually mad about something. So she would loudly pound her bedroom floor with her cane to get attention.

It was rumored that she was a ‘White Witch’.’ That she freed people from curses given to them by someone else’s ‘Evil Eye,’ let alone her own eye(s)!

Her food secret ingredients, choices and recipes were different.  Some to ‘die for’ like her ‘salsa di pasta e zuppa di polpette!’  And some to ‘die because of’ like her:

—Delicious blood pudding

—Fried or pickled pig’s brains & yes,

—The whole-damn-chicken soup.  

Luckily, the feathers were first plucked off!  But most everything else was left floating in the large pot!

She also liked to put pin holes in raw egg shells and suck the contents out through the hole.  

Drinking milk and such directly from the bottle was a given.

And finally, I suspect that she may have skewered a house pet or two!

Animals seem to avoid her house at all costs!

But enough said about my Nonna’s Sicilian ‘il Addamsino Famiglia’ adventures!

Next section, please!