Posted in Prose, That’s Life, true life

Damn Pam Pizza on Her Mind!

My wife, Cute Judy Lee, has pizza on her mind. It’s ‘Are we going to get pizza today?’ Yes, every day, in the evening, afternoon and in the early morning too.

Cheese pizza…

hold the pepperoni …

Onions, garlic, and green and hot peppers too.

Add basil and I’ll sprinkle with Italian seasoning and yes some Fairy Dust too.

When it’s not pizza, well it’s her imaginary Pam that’s nagging her a lot of the time.

You said Pam again!!! Who is Pam anyway?

Honey, there never was, is or ever will be a Pam!

It’s only you, you see?

“Who is that knocking loudly at the door!?” She asks.

Ahh!!!

It’s just Pam, the pizza delivery madam’ that you do hear!

I do fear!

Posted in apology, Prose

Friday the 19th! The Day after Dopey Thursday the 18th!

Thursday … yesterday … was surely a dopey day.

And to think,

it was the day after Wednesday,

my 48th Wedding Anniversary Day.

Now Hal! … How dopey is that!?

Dopey posts … dopey pictures … dopey all around the whole dopey day! And yet it was a very good day in terms of blog statistics considering I’m such a Dope!

I just have to overlook the Mafia hit attempts on my life; Excommunication from the church (and I’m not Catholic); blotched fatwas; and general boos, hisses, threats and negative comments in general.

But I have hopefully learned my lesson on ‘how and not how for Hal’ to write posts!

Maybe I am a Dope. Or maybe I taking to much Dope. Or maybe just maybe I’m getting to much or to little Dopamine you see!

Even God has made his displeasure known with sudden chest pains and numbness in my left arm and right brain hemisphere.

So I pray for forgiveness from my God and ‘oh my god’ limited followers! Never, ever will I again ever post and reply in any manner similar to that approaching Dopey Thursday the 18th!

🤔…🧐……😎

Nah!!!

Posted in Prose, Quote, Review

This Is Dope!!!

A very, very, very extraordinary reply to my post:

World War of the Blogs III!!!

This is DOPE!!!

YES!!!

This is ……

You are a stupid person?
Just information about a subject?
Like a varnish to the surface of a model aircraft?
I am just administering drugs?

This is ……

Very good like?
All of the above?
None of the above?
Or this was …

“Pure, unadulterated, unfunny, 100% unforgiving CRAP!!

WOW ………

Now that is definitely one hell of a reply!

And!

And yes! Maybe I do surely deserve to

“Go to Hell?

……

………

“YES!!’ That Post Was Pure Dope!!’”

Posted in Information, memory, Prose

I Forgot to Remember How to Remember!

There are little things you can do to help you remember. You know.

Where did I put my car keys!?

And my glasses?

The damn TV remote?

And the damn car for that matter!

Well! When you put something down, look at it and say to yourself, “I just put my glasses on the table!”

In addition, squeeze your right hand in a tight fist to stimulate the part of the brain in the hippocampus that helps you to remember.

And to help you recall something?

Well just squeeze your left hand in a tight fist.

It really does work or WOKs if your into cooking!

However, the main drawback to this is

I do not always remember to do the little tricks that can help me to ‘REMEMBER!’

🤔 Maybe if I just tightly squeezed my left and right butts!?

Posted in Prose, true life

What Do You See!?

Inspired by Dymoon, dymoonblog, “Windows!”

What do you see when you look out your window?

Looking out my condo window

I see a pond with occasional ducks

the odd water bird

even the rare horror

of an eel fish

taking down a duckling

or a little critter

that waded to far

for too long.

I see lifeless apartments

with windows shaded and closed.

A water fountain

spraying jets into the air

for decorative

dramatic

and aerating effect.

I see life.

I see the outside world.

Things that trigger

memories from the past

or even

answer questions

for the present and future.

But essentially

I see

“The Now!’

And then …………

I have to pee!

Posted in animals, Art, Prose

50 Shades of Cat Litter!

A repost: but this time with more feeling!

I have this theory that dogs were originally from Mars and cats from Venus!

Dogs are cute and cuddly as pups and become slobbering, tail-wagging fools as adults. And we all know how much men love slobbering, wagging, foolish tails.

Cats, however, start out as cute, fluffy balls of joy. But as adults they seem self-centered. Like … I don’t give a damn, ‘kiss me babe’ egomaniacs.  They’re still cute. But it’s like they really could care less!

So a dog may be the ideal companion for a man; and cats, maybe sadly, often the ideal love for a woman. 

You see, I feel that woman pick men like they pick their cats. 

It’s Fifty Shades of Cat Litter!

For men, it’s may be more basic and mostly instinctual:

Five Shades of Doggy Bags and Chinese Take-Out!

This is all becoming too confusing for me as a sexist old fool. 

Maybe, I should consider adopting is a Guinea Pig to keep in the family!

Posted in Prose, Quote

My Life On Gummy Bears!

Some things said and experienced in my dobedobedobe do dubious past:

You’ve come a long way from where you came from, “WOP!” My commanding officer in South Korea!

“You should not expect to ever go to college!” Quoth my high school counselor, Nevermore!

Yes! I have encountered far to many boring idiots, baffoons, blockheads, and nincompoops! Some even when I brush my teeth in front of my bathroom mirror!

I’m now living in ‘Nasty Valley’ surrounded by NYC rude!

Just sending far to many emails and now blog posts mainly to myself!

You never told me that … Papa!

I was once saved by a giant, green, Cuban lizard, no less!

“You know, we never thought of your father as being Italian!”

Well, Uncle Ken; I never thought of you as being an Asshole!

But I sure do now!