Posted in animals, Prose

Of Angry Mice, Fluffy Rabbits and Flying Squirrels!

Rabbits live in the wild but also make great house pets. They burrow and live in underground tunnel networks called a Warren. Their whiskers are the same width as their body and are used to determine whether they will fit through a hole. This stops them from getting stuck in tunnels.

If only the same could be said of some humans!

Something to ponder: Do mice kill rabbits or do rabbits kill mice? And what’s with the ferret and flying squirrel anyway?

Posted in animals, Science, That’s Life

What Makes A Squirrel Squirrelly?

Yes! There are a lot of crazy squirrels out there!

And some of the things that really drive them nuts are:

If they sense you don’t share their worldview and politics!

Sound familiar?

If they return home after a long day of feeding to find that the path to their abode has been blocked off. When squirrels can’t get back their usual way they do what comes natural – they go bonkers and try to find a new way.

Sound familiar?

If you infringe on their territory or space which happens to be everywhere around them.

There must be a lot of squirrels in Washington DC.

Because they’re a squirrel. And that’s what squirrels naturally do?

As are so many of us!

If they have a sore throat and can’t make the usual chirping sounds and/or can’t expel a little gas!

A fart that is!

Because they’re bullies at heart, especially if they smell fear waffling from us humans!

Good hygiene can help!

If there are no Mad Squirrel Breweries in the local area!

Especially on Sundays during the Nutball season!

If you get to close to their paw-made leather motorcycle jackets or sissy ball bags.

But only in North America!

If the previous Homo Sapien they encountered really pissed them off!

Wait! That applies to most of us!

if they have been infected with Mad Squirrel Disease!

They must all be infected!

If you feed them. If you don’t feed them! If they sense you may or may not feed them!

What the hell does that mean!

If they sense you might mess with their nuts!

Male squirrels that is!!!

Female squirrels? The just harbor ‘nut envy!’

************

Does anyone out there have any other reasons to share!?

************

But fear not though! You see, squirrels don’t carry rabies. They are however known to carry the bubonic plague.

Posted in animals, Science, The Horror

The Horror! Chimera: The Human Monkey!i

It’s Coming!!!!!

No! It’s here!

🐵🙈🙉🙊🐒

Chimera, the human monkey created by Spanish scientists in China!

My thanks to Trumbletimes.com!

Already being groomed to run in the Presidential arena in 2045 as a Vervetacrat!

IT’S COMING: Spanish scientists have created human-monkey chimera in China


— Read on trumbletimes.com/its-coming-spanish-scientists-have-created-human-monkey-chimera-in-china/

Isn’t this really just “deja vu all over again, Yogi Berra!?”

Posted in animals, Fitness, Health

Tai Paw Chewon!

I Am Dog! Hear Me Bark!!!

Tai Paw Chewon is an ancient Chinese art that seeks to provide complete personal dog development. It includes exercises for the body as well as a mind and a self-control concentration process.

It is a Chinese system of slow meditative physical exercise designed for relaxation, balance and overall Caninese health.

Posted in animals, That’s Life

Of Slobbering Dogs and Plotting Cats!

A dog loves us even though they know we are not a dog.

A cat? I’d surely eat you if you were smaller!

Dogs are very hyper social pets.

Cats are surreptitious psychopets!

Dogs will sleep on your bed lovingly anticipating your eventual wake up.

Cats will sit on your chest as you sleep thinking: should I and could I get away with it!

Dogs don’t use mirrors to refer back to themselves like we do. No dog will ever gaze into a mirror and reflect, “So THAT’S what my ears look like.” 

Sort of like me when I sometimes shave in the morning.

The first time a cat catches a glimpse of themselves in the mirror, they usually go absolutely bonkers! They’ll puff themselves up really big, walk on their tippy toes and maybe even try to attack themselves.

Again! Sort of like me after a hard night out!

A dog will run into a glass door and think, “Dah! That was stupid!”

A cat will bounce off the glass; pick itself up, and walk on like, “I meant to do that all along!”

We all know that dog spelled backwards is God!

But did you know that cat spelled backwards is Tac! You know, like Id A’ Tac you if I could get away with it!

But whether it’s a dog or a cat, they are still basically cute and cuddly!

Well, surely not like me, anytime!

Just kittying!