Wednesday Unquotable Quotes

I’m a dog which means my mother was a bitch!

A ‘dog in heat’ is surely not neat if smelling of garlic and lapping Sneaky Pete!

My wife upon hearing these quotes said,

You’re acting like yourself again! Like a ‘low-down dog in heat,’ reeking of garlic and drinking cheap Sneaky Pete!

A dog you say? If that is true my dear, then what does that make you!?

************

You can lead an ass to water, but you cannot make it sh……it!

************

Is time ‘a wasting’ or am I just wasting time?

************

This is what you write

If you’ve been up all night

And your mind

Is definitely mushy ……

Out of sight!

And when you turned over

And first saw your beautiful wife

You Gasped, Was last night “Fright Night!?

************

And do you know,

lawyers are sometimes bloggers too!?

So do beware!

They’ll surely steal

your ideas, money,

and nibble your toes!

But only after

they’ve stolen

your high-rise shoes!

What ever the Hell that means!

20 Comments Add yours

  1. judybarbera says:

    You are definitely pushing it to the limit!!!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Halbarbera says:

      😳🥺🙄🧐😢😮😱…!!!

      Liked by 3 people

    1. Halbarbera says:

      Thank U!👈🏼

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Anonymous says:

    HILARIOUS!!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Halbarbera says:

      Thanks!
      That’s encouraging indeed!

      Like

  3. Anonymous says:

    So comical! Love the dog’s expression too.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Halbarbera says:

      Thanks! You’d look that way too if you found out you mother was a …………!

      Like

  4. Amy Barbera says:

    Dad you are a mess!! This is so funny!!! I don’t know where you think of these things! 🙂 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Halbarbera says:

      Much too much Sneaky Pete wine!

      Like

  5. Maddie says:

    So funny! Thanks for a good read! Feel free to check out my recent post on an important issue throughout the world (if you have the time) ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Halbarbera says:

      Noted and replied…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Maddie says:

        Thanks for putting so much effort into a response! That’s actually so helpful!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Halbarbera says:

        Thanks! When I left the USAF I became a computer consultant and developed and contributed to the development of about 100 State Department applications.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Maddie says:

        That’s so great! I’m glad you were able to get so much experience with things you enjoy!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Halbarbera says:

        👍🏼👻👍🏼

        Liked by 1 person

  6. KK says:

    Hilarious 😄

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Halbarbera says:

      Thanks and pee weed I & II thank you!
      My wife? Not so much! Lol

      Like

  7. Thanks for my morning chuckle. that was my mother’s nick name growing up. lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Halbarbera says:

      Your mother was a … beach!?

      Liked by 1 person

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