I’m Too Damn Tired to Turn Off My iPhone!

I don’t always like it in WordPress City …

Cause nobody knows my name …

‘Til I start postin’ and a-pissin’ …

Hopin’ for a little vain fame!

************

Well, I wanna go home …

Yeah, I wanna roam …

Yeah, I wanna turn off …

My damn iPhone!

************

But I ‘can’t turn off my iPhone …

Cause I once lived near West Virginie …

And got Barbera Moonshine …

In my vain veins!

************

Well, my momma …

Done gave me …

My first saxophone …

My papa his …

Italian-Greek Sicilian name!

************

Yes, I still do …

Wanna go home …

But mostly just …

Turn off that damn iPhone!

************

And then run buck naked …

In the cool, refreshing rain …

Recitin’ verse and rhyme …

Like I’m totally insane!

************

But surely not …

in the shadow of tall palms …

But in the shade …

Of All-American pine!

************

With my bothers and no sisters …

I cut my teeth on Barbera wine …

But I still do long …

To go back to that dear …

Home of mine!

************

But damnit …

My hair is much …

Too thin and unruly …

Where is that damn useless toothless comb of mine?

************

Notes:

I dropped all my real social media sites! And only use my blog!

But I think I get most of my fixes from

Lifestyle
Walking
Neuroplasticity exercises
Acupressure
Learning to play the piano
Singing
Art
Farting

and

even though I’m 78 …

Swinging!

26 Comments Add yours

  1. judybarbera says:

    Oh so very funny and insane!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You got dat blog fever
    You got it bad
    But keep bloggin’ forever
    cold an bare nakerd
    for da best bloggin’ time
    anyone ever had 😎

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hat tip … just bloggin’ in the hood…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Just a jester gangsta
        in a blogger’s paradise 😈🏴

        Liked by 1 person

      2. But I do blog too much!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Social media blogging
        does trigger a dopamine
        reward pathway.
        You see blog sites posting
        6 plus times a day.
        Getting a big cyber fix
        … you could say.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I dropped all my real social media sites! And only use my blog!

        But I think I get most of my fixes from

        Lifestyle
        Walking
        Neuroplasticity exercises
        Acupressure
        Learning to play the piano
        Singing
        Art
        Farts

        and

        even though I’m 78 …
        Swinging!

        Liked by 1 person

      5. 🎼 🎶Swing low. . .
        Mysterious Blogger 🎶 😎

        As you keep on
        keepin’ on 👍

        Liked by 1 person

    2. The West Virginie hood dat is!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I thought Virginia was way
    down south?
    But then, I failed geography
    … and biology 🤔

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lived in Northern Maryland about 15 miles from the West Virginia border.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Being an Australian
        all I know about Maryland
        is they like eatin’ chicken 🐔

        Liked by 1 person

      2. They do!? Do you live in the Wayback Outback! Mate!

        But in Australia the term “Chicken Maryland” simply refers to a butcher’s cut for a whole leg consisting of the thigh and drumstick.

        But for me, Maryland is to crab as Bubba Gump is to shrimp:

        You can fry it, broil it, bake it, saute it. There’s Maryland crab soup, cream of crab soup, crab dip, steamed crabs, king crab, snow crab, lump crab cake, soft-shell crab, crab pizza, crab chips, crab pretzels, etc.

        Phew. That’s a lot of options.

        But I may be wrong cause my mind is slipping from eating too much Maryland chicken!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Just posted based on your inspiration about chicken! Thanks!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Yes, I come from the land down under
    Where women glow, and men plunder
    But sadly, we’ve forgotten how to
    cook chicken 🐔
    Since the big Junk Food Invasion

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Down Under – Men at Work!

      What about sautés kangaroo stew and that tasty Creamed Platypus Corny Soup?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Our platypi
        are just too cute
        to be made into a pie!
        Some choose
        to eat kangaroo.
        Even cook ’em into
        Emu and Roo stew.
        But I just can’t join thems
        in eating
        our national emblems 😎

        Liked by 1 person

  5. But you’re Cajun Chicken sounds
    gumbo yumbo 🍗😎

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Amy Barbera says:

    WOW Dad I LOVE this!! What an Awesome song poem… It was so funny!!!! You gotta turn off that iphone before it drives you crazy! LOL 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ain’t that the tooth!

      Like

  7. KT Workman says:

    Once the dreaded iPhone insinuates itself into one’s life, it’s all over but the crying.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, especially if you suffer from that dreaded iPhone touch disease!

      Apple is recognizing that “Touch Disease” is a thing. … The term “Touch Disease” refers to the touchscreen issues that surface after the phone undergoes stress, like being dropped on the floor several times. In many cases, iPhone users have complained the touchscreen will entirely stop working for several months.

      Are they talking about the phone or the toucher of the phone “home alone!?”

      Like

      1. KT Workman says:

        🤪Got me….

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Omg. This just made my day. You might be my favorite blogger. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Halbarbera says:

      OMG! Glad to make your day by the way!

      Liked by 1 person

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