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Posted in News of the Day, true life

How To Hang Yourself With Paper Sheets!

CBS REPORTED THAT Jeffrey Epstein hung himself in his cell.

With paper sheets?

He was on ‘suicide watch’ and they supposedly strip the cell of anything that can be used to commit suicide! But strangely, the watch had been put on hold. Did they give him new clean linen suicide sheets to use? Convenient to say the least.

And the camera facing his cell, wasn’t working! And the guards that were suppose to check on him every 30 minutes fell asleep. They have been placed on administrative leave.

And the cow jumped over the Moon!

We must be a nation of clueless morons!

No! We are a nation constantly fed BS by a clueless: no devient media and power structure!

And the truth will never be known and things will continue as usual because of the:

‘Real Powers To Be!!!’ And the real devients, you see!

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Posted in Poetry

Writer’s Block? Are You Kidding Me!?

There should be no such thing as writer’s block, you see!

There are endless possibilities there to easily see.

About a third of my posts start as replies to other people’s posts.

Some from a

common phrase,

book title,

song title and lyrics

neat word definition, synoyms turned up-my-down or sideways you see!

A picture

a tune

a dream

nightmare

or

ghostly sight!

Yes!

Writer’s block should be a thing of the past!

If you just treat

your creative constipation

and

always wipe you ass!

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Posted in Nursery Rhyme, Prose

Three Blind Ducks!

Three blind ducks. Three blind ducks.

See how they waddle. Shuffling in the rough.

Their poor ducklings were run over by a pickup truck.

They then went blind seeing a naked farmer’s wife,

Whose husband ran amuck with a carving knife,

Did you ever see such a pitiful sight in your sorry life,

As three blind shuffling, stumbling, waddling ducks?

Let alone, the naked farmer’s wife!

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Posted in Prose

Most Birds and Too Many People Tweet!

Just my opinion in a moment of illogical weakness; and blog suicidal reckless abandon.

Written on Saturday, December 2, 2017; sometime between noon and 1:00 pm. Probably on an empty stomach or emptier head!

Twitter is much ado about nothing.

Realize it is really mostly clueless people making clueless tweets to other hand-machine walkers oblivious to what’s happening around them.

Some even as they walk down the street: tripping here and there; falling into pools in Malls; or hopefully getting run over by a car crossing a street!

PS: Somebody had to say it!

LOL!!!

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Posted in Faith, Poetry

The Doubter’s Creed!

Just My Own Personal Faith-filled Opinion!

More and more

people today

don’t seem

to believe in

God(s),

Heaven

or Hell;

and

surely not

a Holy Trinity!

But to me

many

do seem

to worship

in their own

personal way.

In their worldy church

I might say.

And many

even seem

to have

their own

personal

holy trinity:

In the name of

the self

…. the power

…….. and the holy dollar!

************

Unfollow … click … click … clickity clicks!

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Posted in History, Information, Science

What a Loser Was Albert Einstein!?

Albert Einstein today as a child would probably be on drugs diagnosed with ADHD or Autism!

He didn’t talk until 4.

His grandmother called him ‘thick’ or not very smart.

Repeated words and sentences over and over until he was 7.

Maybe had a form of autism.

Didn’t learn to read until 9 and didn’t like school.

He was disorganized, forgot things, his lectures were hard to follow – the classical ‘absent-minded’ professor.

He attended a Catholic elementary school in Munich until he was 12.

Dropped out of high school at 16.

Failed the entrance exam the first time he applied for college!

What a loser by today’s standards!

But still the greatest creative scientific mind in history!

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Posted in Information, Philosophy, Science

Tickle My Neurons, Please!

A work of art, music, a majestic vista, a group of animals—tickle the neurons in our heads the most.

And recent research has shown that humor and laughter may be the healthiest things our brains can experience.

So boldly jest where no one has dared to rib-tickle before!

Embrace the absurb, inappropriate, and unusual …

Be different …

Draw a cartoon …

Think Out-of-the-Box …

Break wind in a crowded elevator …

Post a joke …

Exercise and stimulate your Humorocampus (?) to alleviate the cognitive symptoms of depression!

Yes!

Laugh, activate your brains, tickle your neurons, and enhance your well-bring!

Reference:

Reader’s Digest, September 2019, Laugh Yourself Smarter: How Humor Builds Brains.

Adam Piore

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Posted in Award Nomination, Information

My Nomination for the Liebster Award!🦞🦞🦞

Out of nowhere and in utter amazement I discovered this nomination by no other than:

theatrealtair: http://altairtheatre.com

A wondrous, magical, mystical site of living performance, online video games and hopefully not the living dead!

And this is the beautiful Altair:

Marc Chagal – Le violoni ste bleu!?

The Liebster Award is a way to help blogs you like and to give them some deserved attention so our followers can discover them as well.

The Rules:

Thank & link back the blogger that tagged you; 

Nominate 11 others; 

Answer the 11 questions of the one who tagged …

No!

So, in honor of my hero and mentor, Nikola Tesla, scratch 11 and change the number to 3!

So Altair, I will continue in groups of 3:

My Rules Then Are:

1. Thank the blogger(s) who nominated you.

2. Share 3 facts about yourself.

3. Answer the 3 questions the blogger(s) asked you.

4. Nominate 3 bloggers and make them happy!!

5. Make up to 3 questions and ask them to your nominees!

6. Notify your 3 nominees.

************

So Altair, you want the facts and nothing but the facts:

1. My first wife, who was taller and probably stronger than me, liked to call me just a “wise ass pip squeak!”

2. My pips DO NOT SQUEAK! Never have never will, period!

3. As a religious seer of future events, I can predict that no one will ever nominate me for any other award again!

*** ****** *********

So Altair, I will answer 3 of the least embarrassing questions!

1. How do you drink your wine?

From a bottle in a brown bag while laying on a sidewalk grate or park bench in my underwear!

2. If all humans are liars, when do you tell the truth?

Since I’m not really human, I can only guess. They all lie with a straight face even when they think they’re telling the truth and nothing but the truth!

3. Do you like poetry?

Do I like poetry?

Is the Pope Polish?

***********

My 3 nominees are:

Why only 3, really?

Let’s see! 1 X 11 X 11 X 11 X 11 X 11 X 11 … phew… we’re already over 1.77 million nominees!

Here we go:

1. Luis M. LaHaBa – Liderando el Futuro

https://luislahaba.wordpress.com

2. Monica – Seattle Food and More

https://monybseattle.wordpress.com

3. Beth Haley – Pilgrimage Studio

https://pilgrimage.studio/

************

And finally……🙌🙌🙌🎉🎉🎉🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 … Altair … my 3 questions for the 3 nominees are:

1. Are you looking at me!? Yes! Are you? Are you really looking at me!!?

2. Have you honestly, actually read, let alone commented on any of my post?

3. Are you or have you ever been a card-carrying Communist?

It Is Finished! Let alone been Finnish!

Yes! I fear my only subsequent nominations will be for The Mysterious A-Hole Award!

……

Actually, it was a real honor to be nominated … Altair!

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Posted in food, Prose, That’s Life

Tomato Montage Doodle Soup for the Soul!

A reheated and renamed past post!

All around the blogging world, people seem to agree that there is something so comforting about a hot bowl of tomato montage doodle soup. It warms you up from the backside in and out.

Add some tomato pasty scribbles to slurp, easy to chew doodle veggies, and the belly-filling goodness of chicken (?) and you’ve got yourself a winning prescription for health and happiness.

Even if you’re not feeling dumb or stupid, this healthy soup from the Tesla 3-6-9 Memory Loss Challenge is a filling meal for any blogger. It’s also a great meal to prepare for a blogger who is sick, creatively challenged or contipated!

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Posted in Imagination, Poetry

If Only ………!

If only I had the faith of those emoticons.

If only my facial expressions could truly convey my feelings or intended tone.

If only I could flag my life with smiley faces; thumbs up; hearts; and even a middle finger where deserved to avoid misunderstanding!

Yes!

If only life really was like

an Emoji and Me!

Featured
Posted in Faith, Lifestyle, Poetry

All Peaches and Cream Tuesday!

Ahh!

Puppy dogs tails,

little kittens,

butterflies,

peaches and cream

topped with a cherry or two.

May your life

be filled with

sweetness,

happiness,

contentment gleam!

Beautiful

like the colors

of peaches and cream.

But what about

“Cakes and Ale?”

Some bloke did scream!

Well mate,

“It’s different in the US …… it seems!”

So

may your life

be like a stroll

on the Boardwalk

in Atlantic City

before all that crime!

One big bowl

of peaches and cream

topped with cherries

and fine wine!

Yes!

If only a fruit of

whatever kind

would taste as sweet

as peaches and cream

topped with

Yes …

Barbera Wine!

************

Now that’s Enough!!!

The Peanut Gallery did loudly shriek!

So I’ll leave it at that

post the usual smorgasbord

for the rest of the week!

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Posted in brunch, Health, Information

A Delicious 8-Course Spider Meal!?

Somebody said, “The average person swallows 8 spiders in their sleep each year!”

Ugh!

Ugh!

Yummy …

Gummy …

Doggy Do-Do!

“Who in the hell said that?” you ask!

A Noble-awarded Chinese entomologist,

So Me Bo Di

************

Luckilly for us, that is absolute pure bull shit or more appropriately spider shit

Read the attached article for the real facts.

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/fact-or-fiction-people-swallow-8-spiders-a-year-while-they-sleep1/

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Posted in Art, Dogs, Entertainment

The Phantom of the Organ!

Coming soon to a post near you!

The Phantom of the Organ!

Starring Oreo the Emotional Support Dog

Being recorded as I post.

The Phantom dog is a virgin Havanese female dog who wears a mask and is deformed. She lives in a Havana Cat House in the cellar, actually the third level underneath. She falls madly in love with a handsome yellow male Calico cat called Chris.

The Phantom dog is very dynamic, mesmerizong, sensual but I fear, ghostly!

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Posted in Health, Information, Prose

Tales From the Shopping Cart Crypt!?

Helpful Tales From the Crypt?

No!

Tales From the Cart!

For those who suffer from Shopping Cart Syndrome (SCS)!

“Shopping cart syndrome” can be caused by overshopping and can lead to both mental and physical pain! It has recently been discovered that Cartimox can help such people along with GetaLife supplements. A doctor that works in a local hospital described a patient suffering from dizziness for two months that had to quit her job because it was so bad. So he prescribed this medicine and supplements and she was better in about six weeks. And my physical therapist told me that her patients with this disorder were given this medicine and it has helped them. 

Other Useful Ways to Alleviate SCS:

Don’t Shop Until You Drop! Especially if you’ve ever suffered from the Dropsies.

Don’t shop for shopping sake because you think you need something! No! Shop for God’s sake!

While shopping is cheaper and better for you mental well-being than a psychiatrist, either way you can still get emotionally screwed!

Remember, a bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.

Shopping is a woman thing.

Is that obscene or what!?

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. That will maybe convince you that you don’t want to know her!

***********

Just trying to spread useful facts. And occasionally quiet farts!

***********

Me thinks I hear angry, screaming feminists and psychiatrists pounding at my door!

Featured
Posted in Art, Faith

Amen! He Does Exist!

August 10, 2019 – Bernie Swartz of Sheboygan, Wisconsin was recording Loch Ness in the Scottish Highlands on his iPhone at 9 am local time. He was able to snap an exclusive shot of the elusive, born-again Loch Ness Minister coming out of Urquhart Bay.

The sighting and awe-inspiring sermon lasted for less than 30 seconds and shows the Bible-thumping minister before vanishing to only God knows where!

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Posted in Poetry

A Total Eclipse of the Mime?

Sometimes my mind does get foggy

And the words don’t come around

Every now and then I get a little bit lonely

So I listen to my favorite soulful sounds!

The drama begins and my gestures do abound

My expressions movements mimic the sound

And low and behold

It all does come around

causing a Total Eclipse of the Mime!

No!

A total eclipse of the Clown!

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Posted in Information, News

Suicide!? Really? Are You Kidding Me!?

Early Saturday morning, August 10, a wealthy U.S. financier committed apparent suicide! The suicide watch had been discontined you see! He was about to come to trial being charged with sex trafficking of minors and sex trafficking conspiracy. And even though he was a multi-millionaire, he was being held without bail!

If he had come to trial, a lot of prominent people would have been identified during the trial: president’s, politician’s, the rich and famous; foreign diplomats; and maybe even a member of the Royal Family, no less!

Are we to actually believe that this trial would be permitted to go forward!?

In my opinion it was not apparent suicide!

No!

It was more likely assisted suicide courtesy of the Real Powers to be!

And by the way! If it is reported that I have committed apparent suicide or whatever, well

Are You Kidding Me!?

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Posted in Art, Prose, Satire

Sad, Sorrowful, Saturday Satire on the Sabbath!

Isn’t it ironic that one can exaggerate and ridicule to their heart’s content but in essence only really expose their own stupidity and vices!

Are you talkin’ about me!?

Whether it’s comtemporary politics; a myriad of other stinging issues; prevailing vices; and/or about the follies, jollies and for some woman, the falsies, of the human existence in an ever-expanding universe of energy, frequencies and vibrations!

And yes for some … fibrators!

And you know who you are!

So, wake up!

Do get up!

Man up!

Lady’s of the Lake on roller skates face caked with make-up for God’s sake on the Sabbath, no less … Wait!

Woman up!

But most importantly …

Lighten Up!

My basic essence is satire enough!

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Posted in Dogs, Information, Safe Driving

Licking and Driving Do Not Mix!

Our emotional support dog, Oreo, had the habit of licking my face and neck when I was driving and I have stopped that entirely.

Why?

Man’s best friend is not always a driver’s best friend.

While lawmakers have been banning drivers from texting or using cellphones, many motorists are riding around with another dangerous risk — their dogs.

Experts say an unrestrained dog — whether curled up on a lap, hanging out the window or resting its paws on the steering wheel — can be deadly. Tens of thousands of car accidents are believed caused every year by unrestrained pets, though no one has solid numbers.

“An unrestrained pet can be hugely distracting — if he is seeking your attention, putting his face right in front of yours, starts chewing up the upholstery or is vomiting because he is carsick,” said Katherine Miller, director of applied science and research for the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.

The issue is drawing attention in some statehouses. Hawaii is the only state that specifically forbids drivers from operating a vehicle with a pet on their lap. But Oregon lawmakers are considering fining drivers who hold their pets behind the wheel. And some cities are taking action, too.

In 2009, 5,474 people were killed and 448,000 injured in crashes caused by distracted drivers in the United States, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.

Cellphones were the top distraction — the cause of 18 percent of the fatalities and 5 percent of the injury crashes. The agency does not track accidents caused by pets, but said they are counted among other distractions such as disruptive passengers, misbehaving children or drivers who attempt to put on makeup or read.

Author Stephen King suffered several broken bones and a collapsed lung in 1999 when he was hit by a driver who claimed he was distracted by his dog.

In a crash, an unrestrained pet can turn into a deadly projectile or get crushed by a driver or passenger who is thrown forward by the collision.

Good pet owners will use a harness or carrier and secure their pets in the middle of the back seat, Miller said. That keeps dogs from getting hurt or bouncing around and hurting others.

“A pet that weighs 50 pounds, in a 35 mph collision, is projected forward like a cannonball with 1,500 pounds of force, and that can cause critical injuries to the folks in the front seat,” Miller said.

Restraining a pet also keeps the animal from running off after a crash and possibly getting hit or causing another crash, or from getting in the way of first responders, she said.

Susan Footh, 37, of Whitewood, S.D., said her 12-pound Maltese named Mozart could have been killed twice if he hadn’t been wearing a harness.

Courtesy:

https://latimesblogs.latimes.com/unleashed/2011/01/dog-car-travel-safety.html

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Posted in Prose, That’s Life, The Horror

You Should Not Question The Shadow!

What is it with you sometimes, anyway!? You sometimes come off boastful, arrogant and spew out a lot of hot air and BS!?

Ahh!

Really?

All I can say is don’t question The Shadow and especially Tony ‘the phony poet’ Spitsarelli!

Tony is on parole!

As for The Shadow!? Only he really knows for sure!

————

Some History:

The Shadow is the name of a collection of serialized dramas, orginally 1930s pulp novels, and then in other media.

One of the most famous adventure heroes of 20th century North America, the Shadow has been featured on the radio, in a long-running pulp magazine series, in American comic books, comic strips, television, serials, video games, and at least five feature films. The radio drama included episodes voiced by Orson Welles.

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Posted in Philosophy, Prose

The Post That Contained the WordPress Sea!

The title of The Post That Contained the WordPress Sea comes from a Gufi concept: in the same way that every word of our posts contains the essence of our blog, and inside every blog is the essence of all of humanity.

In keeping with this idea I’ve introduced a water theme and woven subtle variations throughout my posts. My blog, therefore, contains all seven concepts of the major scale-four relgions with three mirroring the flow of ideas through the multi-Universe, and representing the vast ocean of melodic possibilities contained within the spiritual realm when hummed using the E minor scale.

————

How’s that for philoshopical BS?

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Posted in Language, Writing and Grammer

It’s the Furst and Lsat Letders Thet Conut!

Take a look at the paragraphs below. Can you read what it says? All the letters have been jumbled (mixed). Only the first and last letter of ecah word is in the right place:

************

I cnduo’t bvleiee taht I culod aulaclty uesdtannrd waht I was rdnaieg.

Unisg the icndeblire pweor of the hmuan mnid, aocdcrnig to rseecrah at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mttaer in waht oderr the lterets in a wrod are, the olny irpoamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rhgit pclae.

The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whoutit a pboerlm.

Tihs is bucseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey ltteer by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Aaznmig, huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghhuot slelinpg was ipmorantt! See if yuor fdreins can raed tihs too.

************

Coutesy http://www.ecenglish.com

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Posted in Parody

Killing Me Softly … With Hard Salami! 🎼…🎸…🎷

A Parody inspired by the song, Killing Me Softly, as sung by Roberta Flack!

Peeling off the salami slices with my fingers

on bread with brown mustard I thee make

Killing me slowing that salami

Killing me softly that processed meat

Shortening my whole life maybe by years

Killing me softly with it’s calories, fat, sodium and pork and beef!

*************

I do love that salami!

And so does Cute Judy Lee and Oreo the emotional suppot dog … a Cuban Havenese!

Good grief!!!

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Posted in Music

Cute Judy Lee Song!

Recently bought an Electronic Keyboard and therefore like to play with my organ.

So to speak!

No lessons, just playing without rhyme, reason or spicy seasonings!

This is a tune I like to call ‘Cute Judy Lee’ humming as she merrilly strolls down the lane you see!

Aware that few or if any will even listen or see!

Check out “Cute Judy Lee” by “Hal Barbera” on #BandLab –
https://www.bandlab.com/revisions/e8161cc6-deb9-e911-bcd0-2818789a0161

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Posted in Poetry

Like a Tree!

Like a tree

with bended branches

I be!

My feet firmly

rooted in terra firma

distinct from

the air and sea!

A trunk

wide as can be

as I rest

on bended branches

no bended knees!

With healthy green foliage

sprouting from the branches

like waves on the sea!

My head

my crown

my top

it be

swirling in the clouds

bemused

befuddled

a bit confused

and sorry-assed

for all to see!

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Posted in Health, Lifestyle, true life

Driving Miss Norma!

90-year-Old woman declined chemo, started to travel with her dog instead!

As doctors,” he said, “we see what treatment looks like everyday. ICU, nursing homes, awful side effects and honestly, there is no guarantee she will survive the initial surgery to remove the mass. You are doing exactly what I would want to do in this situation. Have a fantastic trip!”

Here is the article:

https://www.homesluxury.net/90-year-old-woman-traveling-with-dog/?fbclid=IwAR0LWFP9ak78OTi9Tnz5o8hAX9pOgiTxjrcOJG-vBQt30qXWHWzZ-Hg_jJk

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Posted in Quote, Stories

Don’t Post With the Fishes!

Actually it is, “Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes!”

The original text in Mario Puzo’s book The Godfather (1969) read: “The fish means that Luca Brasi is sleeping on the bottom of the ocean,” he said. “It’s an old Sicilian message.”

My grandfather, Santo, who strangely departed on Santa’s Christmas Eve, 1924, knows what that means, exactly!

So stay alert. Post from the heart. And never, ever post such that you wind up on the bottom of the WordPress Sea!

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Posted in Quote

The Now! Any How!

There is really no past, present or future!

No real yesterday, today or tomorrow!

There is only really “The Now!”

So get off your arse and do it NOW!

Tony ‘The Phony Philosopher’ Spitsarelli

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Posted in humor, Writing and Grammer

Tongue in Cheek? 👅

Sometimes what I post is just ‘tongue in cheek’ humor! Other times, just my thumbs in my backside cheeks!

Either way, some people don’t always know how to take it!

Rare … medium rare … well done

Over easy … scrambled … hard boiled

😊… 😂 … 🧐 … 😳 … 😩 … 🥴 … 🤮

👍 … 👎🏼 … 🖕🏼

😇 …🥰 … 👿 …🤡 … 👹 … 👽 …👻 …🙀 🧚🏽‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧟‍♂️

💩💩💩

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Posted in Health, That’s Life

A Leisurely Virtual FaceTime Stroll

A Leisurely Virtual FaceTime Stroll

Cute Judy Lee Post:

I am unable to walk because of severe arthritis and fused knees. So on my husband’s afternoon walk we used FaceTime on our iPhones so I could come along as he walked around the community.

It was a wonderful experience and fun!

https://nothingincareful.wordpress.com/2019/08/04/a-leisurely-virtual-facetime-stroll/
— Read on nothingincareful.wordpress.com/2019/08/04/a-leisurely-virtual-facetime-stroll/

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Posted in Science

Ploonet of the Apes!

Ploonet?

What is a Ploonet?

Is this the work of that damn spellchecker again? You know! One words becomes three or the word becomes an entirely different unrelated word. You don’t mean lowercase. It’s uppercase you moron!

A Ploonet is a Moon that has been rejected by it’s planet or just become a snack or treat for a ravenous Star!

Some newly discovered planets may actually just be lonely Ploonets! Some Ploonets may have Moons themselves. It is just “The Cycle of Moons!”

The movie, Ploonet of the Apes, is in works as I post! NOT!

Ploonet?

Are you kidding me!? What are you smokin’! You have finally entered the WordPress Outer Limits!

Making this up? I did a search and could find no such celestial object called a Ploonet! Anywhere!

Well! I saw it on YouTube, Bright Side, so it must be true! But for now they do exist for me. And surely only The Shadow really knows for sure!

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Posted in Faith, Prose

When the Rain Returns to the Clouds!

When you pray over water

the water absorbs

and welcomes

your prayers

so that when it evaporates

it carries your prayers

into the sky

the universe

for all to share

and

again condenses

to form the clouds

to complete

the spiritual cycle!

Yes

when the rain

returns to the clouds

your prayers

are answered

and the world

becomes

a much better place!

@copyrightsworld.com

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Posted in apology, Information

6…6…6!!! 😱

Today the number of my followers hit 666!

You know what that means!!!

************

No!

Wait!

You idiot!

That really means nothing since most blogger follower numbers do eventually reach 666!

It’s just an excuse for another silly-assed, nonsensical, nonmusical post!

————

NOTE: The number 3 represents God, The Trinity!

Six is the number of Man!

Therefore, the number 666 here represents ‘Man as God!’ The Anti-Christ!

I didn’t know that!

Neither did I. I think I may have just made it up!

No! You idiot! It is true!